Birdwatching Jokes · 27 Birding Jokes and Puns You Won’t Egret Reading
There’s plenty of bird puns out there, but finding birdwatching jokes is like finding a California condor in a haystack.
Luckily you won’t need binoculars to find birdwatching jokes here!
Birding at a construction site
Why were the birdwatchers at the construction site?
They wanted to see a crane!
Bird Comedy
Did you hear about the birdwatcher who liked to tell jokes?
She was a real comedi-hen!
A Date With a Bird Watcher
I went on a date with a birdwatcher
Me: So, what do you like to do for fun?
Date: I love birdwatching!
Me: Oh, really? Knock, knock!
Date (*smiling overbearingly*): Who’s there?
Me: A woodpecker! And you call yourself a birdwatcher?
Birdwatcher (*trying not to roll eyes*): Good one…
Me (*embarrassed*): Oh God, I’m SO sorry! I just couldn’t help myself! I’m actually a very nice person, I promise!
Date (*smiling politely*): That’s fine. I’ve heard worse.
Me: Please, let’s just start over, shall we?
Date: Ok!
Me: So, tell me about your hobbies.
Date: Well, I’m a birder.
Me: Oh, really? Knock, knock!
Date (*hesitantly*): Who’s there?
Me: Woodpeckers.
Date: Woodpeckers who?
Me: No, that’s the owl. And you call yourself a birdwatcher?
Say this one out loud…
If a Norwegian robot analyzes a bird, it’s Scandinavian.
A nest!
When the birdwatcher found a nest, he was egg-sighted!
Reminiscing bird watching joke
A birdwatcher reminisces about his past and says “I have many egrets.”
An amazing birdwatcher
Birdwatcher: I’m great at identifying birds!
Friend: Ok, what are those on that tree over there?
Birdwatcher: Yep, they’re all birds!
Birding on vacation
Did you hear about the birdwatcher who didn’t plan an itinerary for his vacation?
He’s going to wing it!
Birdwatching in Germany Joke
Did you hear about the ornithologist who took a trip to Germany? He wanted to drive on the Audubon!
Sea birds
Did you hear about the birdwatcher who was feeding cannabis to sea birds? She wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
A good bird joke
Birdwatchers in Cleveland were astonished to find a male gull that picked up loose change it found on the ground and dropped it in front of the homeless.
They were even more amazed to find a female gull who found trash on the Lake Erie beaches and put it in trash cans.
One day, the locals noticed the two birds sharing a nest. After all, one good tern deserves another!
Disgruntled birdwatcher joke
What did the disgruntled birdwatcher say to the employee of the bird sanctuary?
I’d like to speak to your Tanager.
The broke birder
Have you heard about the broke birder?
His budgie-ting skills were horrible!
This one will get you raven mad!
Did you know ravens have 17 primary wing feathers, known as pinions? A crow has 16. So the difference between a crow and a raven is only a matter of a pinion.
Dogs through the eyes of a birdwatcher
Afraid of birdwatching
Did you hear about the woman who was afraid to go hiking with birdwatchers? She didn’t want to be a birdin.
The sick birder
A birdwatcher got sick after trading a seagull for a sausage the other day. She took a tern for the wurst.
What’s the difference?
What is the difference between an ornithologist and a stutterer?
One is a bird watcher, and the other is a word botcher.
The owl babysitter
I met a girl who used to take care of owls for rich people who had them as pets.
I asked her if she was an ornithologist or a bird watcher. She was not. I said, “So you’re just like a bird babysitter?” “Of course not,” she replied.
“I’m a Hootenanny.”
Dead crows
There were many dead crows on highways in the Rocky Mountains this year. Ornithologists suspected it was due to vehicles hitting the crows.
This was surprising because crows have adapted to feeding on carcasses by having two birds watching from the trees while two birds feed. If there is a vehicle coming, two crows will shout out so the other birds can fly away.
After analyzing the accidents, it was found that 80% of crows were killed by trucks and only 20% were killed by cars.
Turns out crows are really good at yelling “caw caw caw” and not good at yelling “truck truck truck.”
The right way to react to birdwatching puns
As a birdwatcher, people always make the same bird jokes to me whenever they find out about my hobby. I used to get mad until I realized toucan play that game.
Identify that bird!
And here we have the elusive German Shep-bird.
Or maybe it’s a pecking-ese
His name is Fi-dodo
A bird dog?
Perhaps it’s a Saint Bird-nard.
I know! It’s a bald beagle!
It’s actually a jackdawg, a species of crow.
Obviously it’s a Labrador Retweeter
The big bird watching event!
Did you guys hear about the big birdwatching event tonight?
Supposedly there was a superb owl!
Sinead O’Connor
I’m out birdwatching with Sinead O’Connor. So far, it’s been seven owls and fifteen jays.
A birdwatcher walks into a bar…
A birdwatcher, a lesbian and a man meet at a bar. They were there to discuss what the perfect boobie looks like.
Birdwatching date
My date just walked out on me after I told her I look at tits and boobies all day
Guess she doesn’t like birdwatching
A great hobby
My friend was staring at some women…
Because they were chicks he claimed it was birdwatching.
Condors
A group of bird watchers is out in the woods and sees a wild condor flying in the sky. Everybody is elbowing each other, pointing at the bird and focusing their binoculars. Then they hear a gunshot and the bird falls out of the sky!
The bird watchers all go running to where the bird fell and find that a disheveled man has already plucked the bird and is getting ready to roast him on a spit. Of course, the bird watchers take him in and press charges.
The judge informs him of the serious nature of killing a bird that’s on the endangered species list and asks if he has anything to say before sentencing. The man tells the judge that he had been separated from his hunting party for several days, was lost in the woods, and might have starved if he didn’t shoot the Wild Condor.
The judge listens to his story and sets him free based on the premise that he was just doing what he had to do to survive.
As the man was leaving the courthouse he was confronted by a group of reporters and one shouted out “What did it taste like?” The man hesitated for a bit and then said “Well, it was kind of a cross between a Spotted Owl and a Bald Eagle.”
Birdwatching jokes and puns
I love these birdwatching jokes, they certainly lighten my day!
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